In Loving Memory of My Babies ~
Carrie Louise Byrne
10th November 1985 - 16th January 1986
Emma Marie Byrne
30th April 1987 - 3rd May 1987
God's Little Ones
God makes little children
He makes them every day
And though He loves them dearly
He gives them all away.
He gives each to an angel
And says take baby down
To such and such a mother
In such and such a town.
Or such and such a cottage
In such and such a place.
He gives the angel with it
A big soul full of grace.
God does so love those children
It's all that He can do
To let the Angel take them
But he loves the mother's too.
And so he says I'll lend you
This little one of mine
The angel folds it's love
About the special gift divine.
The angel watches over
The child both day and night
So glad to see that lovely soul
All shining in God's light
God makes so many children
And every now and then
He seems to want one specially
We don't know why or when
He whispers to its Angel
Bring the child back to me
The angel sees a lovely sight
That someday we may see
It sees the souls of mothers
And fathers in God's light
Offering him tiny children
Whose souls are shining bright
God does so love those children
Whos souls are never dim
And how he loves those parents
Who give them back to him.
~ Author unknown
For My Angel Carrie On Her 32nd Birthday and 32nd Heaven Day
No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
This are two beautiful and loving gifts for Angel Carrie from my dear friend, Carol,
mom to Angel Michael.
And these also are two beautiful and loving gifts for Angel Emma
from my dear friend, Carol,
mom to Angel Michael.
TO EMMA ON HER 30th BIRTHDAY WITH LOVE FROM MUMMY
If roses grew in heaven Lord,
please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in Emma's arms
and tell her theyíre from me.
Tell her I love and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hug her for a while.
Today she has a birthday,
another I canít share,
please give my good wishes,
then tell her that I care.
I know she has her sister Carrie
to share in her heavenly birthday,
my angels have each other,
and for their happiness I pray.
Remembering her is easy!
I do it every day,
but thereís an ache within my heart
because I am missing her today.
For My Angel Carrie
I do not need a special day to bring you to my mind.
The days I do not think of you are very hard to find.
Each morning when I awake I know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache as I try to carry on.
My heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you no one will ever know.
My thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill.
In life I loved you dearly; in death I love you still.
These five precious gifts for Angels Carrie and Emma are from my friend Marie.
You can visit her website for her son Rob here ~ Rob Northrop's Site.
As Long As Forever
I shall remember you for as long
As there are fields of snow,
And there are flowers in the ground
With strength to grow,
As long as there are stars above
And moonbeams on the sea,
And just as long as there are songs
Of love and memory.
I shall remember you today
And dream of you tonight,
And look for you tomorrow when
The sun begins to light.
Whatever season, month or year,
This much will be the same,
The only sound of joy will be
The mention of your name.
I shall remember you for as long
AS there are earth and sky,
And all eternity
May take to say goodbye.
By James J. Metcalfe
But A Moment
You'll always be my children-I think of you each day,
Even though you must remain so very far away.
A love as strong as this, I've never felt before;
But you had to go away-up through heaven's door.
You'll never have to suffer, or feel pain or hate,
Just peace and love and happiness-
God has given you this fate.
I hope that you can feel just how much I care;
And, When my days are over, in a flash-I will be there.
Pure unbounding joy! We'll never have to part.
You'll be right by my side-And not just in my heart.
But, until that day, when my dream is real-
I think I understand, just how I should feel...
"Mum, I am fine!" this must be what you would say-
"Please don't be so sad, we'll meet again one day:
I'm with God above - so don't cry for me,
Our parting is but a moment compared to eternity."
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears could make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN
This dolphin globe and the poems above are loving gifts from Angel Meshael and her Mommy, Gail.
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby''s not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
~ Author unknown
It does not seem like all those years ago, its strange because my memories of that time and my girls are so clear, like they have been frozen, but everything else that has happened in my life seems like ages ago and hazy. I still cant walk down the road without looking at somebody and thinking what would my girls be doing at their age, what would they look like etc.
Carrie was born weighing only 3 1b 9 oz and was my first born. She was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen and I was so proud to be her mum. She spent the first month of her life in special care because she was so small, and because she had had a small brain bleed and had a cleft pallet. Before she was allowed to come home she had to learn to feed from a bottle, which was a little more difficult for her because of the cleft. The day I was allowed to take her home was a wonderful moment and I can remember walking round the flat where we lived showing her every room in her new home. She was a placid little thing but hated having a bath, as soon as she felt the water she would scream until I had finished. I just could not take my eyes off her she was so beautiful and I loved showing her off to anybody who would look! But when she was 9 weeks old I woke one morning to find that she had gone, part of me went with her that day.
Emma was born 18 months after her sister Carrie weighing 71b. She was not at all like her sister, she was a lot bigger and because she was three weeks overdue her skin was all wrinkly, but she was still beautiful.
I had a caesarean and was not allowed to have Emma with me till the day after her birth. I noticed that her breathing did not sound right and called a nurse, she took her away and after a couple of hours I was told that she had a perforated bowel that they thought she had been born with. She was taken to another hospital where they operated. I did not sleep because I wanted to spend every moment beside her incubator, holding her little hand and just looking and talking to her. I am glad I did because when she was 3 and a half days old they said they could do nothing else for her and she died in my arms. In the past 18 months I have found out, by accident, that she did not die from something she was born with, but because when she had been delivered her brain was damaged with the forceps and she had received not even received basic care from the hospital, the damage was irreversible. The hospital had decided to cover this fact up and I am at the moment fighting to find out the truth of what really happened. Not because it will make any difference to Emma, because it wont bring her back, but because I think that I owe it to her to find out.
I got myself a solicitor and paid for them to get the information I needed to find out exactly what happened to Emma. In January 2006 I finally got a report from a consultant in neonatal medicine & paediatrics, he read all there was left to read and wrote me a report in plain English (not doctors speak!) on what he found. Because some notes where missing, (like the fact that I had to have an emergency c section because the doctor never noticed that she was breech until I had already received drugs to induce labour, the records that recorded the c section and who had done it, records from the first 24 hours of her life) His report was based on what there was left to read, from the hospital and post mortem reports. In the paediatric notes the paediatrician present noted "Problem delivering head-forceps used" despite this Emma was sent to the normal nursery and not a special care unit where somebody could keep an eye on her.
The notes from the nursery are patchy (some missing) but they state that she would not feed, was mucousy at times, and was vomiting blood. In fact somebody had wrote this statement in the record and put "left to sleep" after it. I myself when I could went and got her from the nursery, this was approximately 24 hours after birth. Within the first half hour of having her in my presence I noticed that her breathing was not right and pressed the emergency button, a nurse came and she was taken to a special care unit. This fact was also missing from the notes, as they read like she was still in the nursery, had vomited, and a paediatrician had been called and sent her to special care. They realised that they now had a very sick baby and sent her by flying squad to another hospital that could give her the special care she needed. By the time she got there the damage was irreversible.
The consultant on reading everything had concluded that Emma died as the result of forceps being used. Her brain was forced down at the tentorial (at the top of the spine) tearing it. This resulted in her brain swelling and haemorrhaging, this lead to an instability in her blood pressure, which stopped her body from functioning properly and lead to her death. There are a lot of years that have passed, and records are missing, far too many to lay blame with anybody. But at least I now know the truth, and that's the last thing I can do for Emma. Not knowing the truth changed my life completely, I was lead to believe that there was possibly something was wrong with me, which resulted in me not being able to have a healthy baby. I could not bring another child into the world and watch it die so I choose not to have any more, I will never know what its like to watch my children or grandchildren grow up because somebody saw fit to hide the truth from me.
The memory of your presence will be with me always,
I had you both for such a short time
but long enough to know the feeling of what it was like to be your mummy.
There is not a day goes by that I don't think of you both
and wish that you where still here with me to grow.
Time does not heal the pain nor does it take away
the feeling of wanting to hold you in my arms again.
But one day I will, so till we meet again my angels
I love you now and always x x x x x x x x x
Mum Tracey and step daughter Nicola just before xmas 2005.
My dad said he wanted to do a poem for the girls' site and he sent it to me the other day. It's so lovely and from the heart, and made me weep buckets. Dad never knew my girls, to his eternal regret. My mum and dad split up when I was young and mum moved away, with one thing or another we never saw each other for over 32 years. One day a couple of years ago I decided that I would try to find the dad I had missed so much. I was a member of a site called 'friends reunited,' for old school friends. I typed in his name and there he was, my dad. I kept checking it for a few months, and in January 2004 there was this man, who was my dad, staring back at me, he had put a picture on. That night I emailed him a two line note with my name and if you want to contact me here I am. And he did, the very same night, two full pages I got. It was like my prayers had been answered. We have come a long way since that first letter, and I would be here all night telling you about it all. Dad wanted to go to the cemetery to see the girls last year, he asked me could he stay a while, while I went to see my mum. I know that visit effected him greatly and the pain of not knowing them was great. The poem he wrote is about that journey
and his feelings.
This picture is of me and my dad taken in December 2004. His name is Ken. He is my best friend and the best dad I could ever hope to have.
The poem he wrote is below.
Carrie Louise and Emma Marie.
I stand here beside you and know that your there.
My heart and my mind in total despair
I wanted to come here just to be near,
But now that I found you I tremble with fear.
I had no idea of the feelings Iíd find,
A storm of emotions thatís drowning my mind.
Would you want me to be here or rather I go,
I understand why, but donít really know.
I talk to you both so you know how I feel,
If I had my chance over one moment Iíd steel.
A moment in time just we three could share,
To tell you I love you, and want you, and care.
Each day that goes bye the more that I miss,
My granddaughters cuddle, a smile or a kiss.
So many the thoughts of what could have been,
With my two darling angels, they know what I mean.
I know that your out there and watch over me.
My sweet little Carrie and Emma Marie.
Your in all things of beauty, in every spring day.
On sparkling waters and flowers in May.
So proud Iím your granddad though we never met,
I tell you like always, donít ever forget.
Iím so glad I found you, no day do I miss,
Saying I love you and sending a kiss.
Love from your grandad
There's a pain beyond imagining
That's burning in your heart
For suddenly your whole world
Has been cruelly ripped apart.
All words of consolation
Which are bound to
come your way
Will probably seem empty
And of little use today.
For when you ask
the question why
It makes no sense at all
That two so precious had to die.
The only source of comfort
Is your memories and the love
And they will shine forever
Like the brightest star above.
A flame that burns eternally
So strong it lights the sky
And even through
your darkest days
That flame will never die.
So many people share your pain
We grieve with you as one.
The gift of life gets taken back
But the love goes on and on.
God Sent To Me An Angel
By Paul Dammann
God sent to me an angel,
it had a broken wing.
I bent my head and wondered
"How could God do such a thing?"
When I asked the Father
why He sent this child to me,
the answer was forthcoming,
He said "Listen and you'll see."
"My children are all precious,
and none is like the rest.
Each one to me is special,
and the least is as the best.
I send each one from Heaven
and I place it in the care
of those who know my mercy,
those with love to spare.
Sometimes I take them back again.
Sometimes I let them stay.
No matter what may happen
I am never far away.
So if you find an angel
and you don't know what to do,
remember, I am with you,
love is all I ask of you."
God's Little Child
Mommy please don't be sad, I miss you so much too.
It's beautiful here, but I worry a lot about you.
I sleep with angels watching me...
there is only love up here.
I am never lonely or afraid because God is so very near.
I walk with Jesus every day, He is very kind and loving.
Don't worry Mom, He holds my hand
when we cross a golden street.
I never cry or hurt myself. I see Grandma every day.
Grandma (Tracey's mom) is with Carrie and Emma in Heaven.
I play and laugh and sing a lot
and I hear you when you pray.
Please Mummy, don't be mad at God, you see He loves me too.
And even though you are not with me,
I am really still with you.
~ Author unknown
Tiny hands that hold a lifetime
Connect your heart to mine.
Tiny fingers trace the lifelines
Of two souls that intertwined.
Tiny nose and tiny eyes
In a tiny little face
Reminders of your beauty
Quickly gone, without a trace.
Tiny kicks and tiny wiggles,
Stopped in the silence of one breath
As my tiny, lovely angels
Were caressed and kissed by death.
Tiny life stopped in one heartbeat,
Oh, how could this be?
You passed through my life, my heart, my soul,
You became a part of me.
Tiny whispers, tiny words
Never to be heard.
But your echoes live forever,
My tiny, precious girls.
I Felt An Angel Close Today
I felt an Angel close today
Though one I could not see
I felt an Angel, oh-so-close
Sent to comfort me
I felt an Angel's gentle kiss
So soft upon my cheek
And then without a single word
Of caring she did speak
I felt an Angel's loving touch
So soft upon my heart
And with that touch I felt the pain
And hurt within depart
I felt an Angel's tepid tears
Fall softly next to mine
And knew that as those tears did dry
A new day would be mine
I felt an Angel's silken wings
Enfold me with pure love
And felt a strength within me grow
A strength sent from above
~ Author unknown
The Tiny Rosebud
The master gardener, from heaven above,
planted a seed in the garden of love.
And from it there grew a rosebud small
that never had time to open at all.
For God, in his perfect and all wise way,
chose this rose for his Heavenly bouquet.
And great was the joy of this tiny rose,
to be the one our father chose.
To leave earth's garden for one on high
where roses bloom always and never die....
so while you can't see your precious rose bloom,
you know the great gardener from the upper room
is watching and tending this wee rose with care,
tenderly touching each petal so fair..............
so, think of your darling with the angels above,
secure and contented and surrounded by love.
And remember God blessed and enriched your lives too:
for in dying, your darling brought
Heaven closer to you......
~ Author unknown
We can never forget your precious smiles
and how you brightened our lives each day
We can still see your sparkling eyes
And wonder why god took you away
You were our little angels
Sent down from the heavens above
God allowed us a little while
And blessed us with your love
We have peace of mind and comfort in knowing
That you're now with our lord up above
And the angels are taking care of you
With their everlasting love
In Loving Memory Of Carrie and Emma
Sisters together in heaven
This poem above is a gift from Karen, Angel mum to Kayles.
Please visit Karen's site for her daughter at In Memory of Kayles
And this angel image is a gift from my friend Gail,
who helped a great deal in the creation of this site.
Please visit Gail's page for her daughter at Meshael's Story
Gail and Karen are two of many lovely angel mums I have met and I am eternally grateful for their friendship.
This is a loving gift from my dear friend Pammi.
Benjiman's Site Map
A small gift for Angels Carrie and Emma and their grieving
May God send his blessings to them.
GEOFFREY P. EDWARDS
To A Very Beautiful
Angel Named Emma
Who Now Lives In
GOD'S Kingdom Above
Gone From Our Sight
But For Sure Not
Everytime I am at your site, it touches my heart so much.
My Heart truly goes out to you.
In Loving Memory Of
Carrie's 32nd Birthday and 32nd Angelversary
My Heart really flickers everytime I visit your site.
But I sure have to believe that Carrie and Emma
are in a much better place.
Free from pain and suffering.
Watching over you now, and knowing that you were
first one to touch them, and give them love.
And that will always remain in your heart for them.
GOD BLESS TRACEY
In Loving Memory of Lee Henry Aguilera
My Angel Son Michael
View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook
In Loving Memory of Carrie Louise
and Her Little Sister Emma Marie
Forever Held in God's Hands
Happy Birthday in Heaven Sweetheart
CARRIE AND EMMA
ANGELS TOO SWEET FOR THIS EARTH
Only stayed for a while right after our birth
We will wait for the beautiful mum that we love
And when we're together we'll give you a hug
But for now you must stay where you are for a while
To finish your journey until that last mile
Meanwhile we'll wait for the day you come home
Please know that for now you are never alone
Our love will live on, you have no need to fear
And when you do cry we'll always be near
It's your Carrie and Emma that will dry all your tears
With Love and God's Blessings
A friend can hear a tear drop.
This webpage is created
In Loving Memory of Carrie Louise Byrne and Emma Marie Byrne
on March 7, 2005
Last updated: February 16, 2018
© 2005 - 2018
Maria's Tribute to Christopher