In Loving Memory of
Thomas Bryan Hostetler
December 21, 1979 - June 27, 1999



JUST ONCE MORE

From the moment I awake
until the moment I close my eyes
from a weary day,
Thomas is there.

I wish to hold him, just once more,
to see him, just once more,
to hear his voice, just once more,
to smell his smell, just once more,
to tell him I love him, just once more.

And to say good-bye... just once,
because I never got to.

Then I tell myself…
who are you kidding,
once more would never be enough

Joyce E. Hostetler, Thomas's Mom




When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

Written by:
Erica Shea Liupaeter
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me





Today I saw you walking across the parking lot
My heart skipped a beat....
Your shoes were the same style, your clothes and hat too
But, then I remembered it could not be you....

Oh how I yearn to see you
that smile on your face
There is no one that could ever take your place

Sometimes I think just how unfair it is
to have you gone so young
I think of all the things you loved to do
and just all the fun

yes, the tears are falling
now down this mothers face
I just cannot fathom you
not being in this place

Yes, I saw you walking across the parking lot
My heart skipped a beat
Your shoes were the same style, your clothes and hat too
But, then I remembered it couldn't be you....

Love, Mom 10/19/2003


HEARTPRINTS

Whatever our hands touch......
we leave fingerprints.
On walls,on furniture,
on door knobs,dishes and books
As we touch we leave our identity.

Oh please where ever I go today...
help me leave heartprints
heartprints of compassion,
understanding and love.
Heartprints of kindness and genuine concern.

May my heart touch a lonely neighbor...
or a runaway daughter...
or a mother...
or perhaps a dear friend!

I shall go out today...
to leave heartprints...
and if someone should say...
"I felt your touch!"
May that one sense be...
YOUR loving touch through ME!
~ Author Unknown



You never said I'm leaving
You never said good bye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why
A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That no one could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For a part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.
~ Author Unknown




The yearning in my heart
I just cannot understand this pain
after all this time
I wonder what I have gained

I have gained a mask that I wear from day to day
to those around me that have no idea
what this mother feels

I often think about you as I am driving down the street
I often think how often you made this same drive
how often you were on this road
and on that freeway
how fast that ambulance drove?

I seem to be thinking of you more and more each day
this is a feeling I wish that somehow I never had to pay
I think that you must be happy for why did you leave us so soon
But, then I decide that you had something to do

I often think about you
and what you would be doing now?
Of all the things you loved to do
The freedom in your life
I wonder what caused you to take
that last flight?

I wonder what you would look like
would you still wear shorts all the time
would still wear a hat and
let that smile shine?

Would you have became that teacher?
Or something else for sure
But something I will always wonder
exactly what you'd do

Would you still like to hunt and fish
and play pool with your friends
or would still like to see a movie to the very end?

I wish I could hear your laughter
for it was music to my ear
and somehow with you around
there wasn't much fear

I often think about you
and how your life would be
But, now all I can think of
Is do you remember me

Joyce E. Hostetler 10/19/03



This was Thomas's profile on AOL

Members Name: Ask me and if I like you, I might tell you
Location: The Big Sky Country
Birthdate: Born in "79
Sex: Male
Marital Status: Not As Of Yet
Hobbies: Hiking, Biking, Sports, Shooting, Camping, Rock Climbing,
Playing Pool, Hanging Out With Friends.
Computer: The One I am On Right Now
Occupation: Living Life to the Fullest
Personal Quote: Dream Big, Or Don't Dream At All, Baby!




This was one of Thomas's favorite songs....named Every Rose Has Its Thorn...by Poison.....he said that it not only reflected life but love too.........when I listen to this I can close my eyes and see how serious he was....his smile...his love of music.....
his love for life.....I miss Tom.....I always will......



Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Song by: Poison

We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say love's a game of easy come
and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here somehow
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains

Solo

I know I could have saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

But now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn




This was what Brandy read at Thomas' Funeral:

~Some of Tommy's real friends and I got together last night, and thought we would put some of the many thoughts of him together. It's funny how he always thought that he didn't have many friends, but, I have about six pages of nothing but wonderful things said about him, and I know that we could have been much longer if time and to share every special moment was permitted, but, we'd be sitting here a heck of a long time.

~Tommy wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend, and he wasn't everyone's friend, he was their brother. Tommy was always there for me whenever I needed him. I could go in and wake him up at three in the morning, and he would listen the best that he could that early, and even that early, I would walk away happy, just knowing that I had talked to him. Of course, times weren't always sunshine, we argued, quite a bit, but, the majority of them never lasted very long, and when we made up, we always let each other know that we loved each other. It was just the last few months that Tommy and I started saying I love you to each other, we got into the habit of saying it nearly every time we saw each other. And to this day, those three words mean everything to me.

~Tommy's true friends had many wonderful things to say about him....... With a constantly down for rough and tumble action attitude, our friend, no, our brother never ceased to entertain us. His firmness and stubbornness proved to us an asset as he was usually right when something was in dispute. That's because he had something almost rare in this world, common sense and vision----not always his prevailing qualities, but always nearly obvious to those around him. He had a unique sociability and friendliness as he had few, if any enemies. His motivation kept him in a physical state that he could not only keep up with us, but also push us and drive us around to perform at our best. A quality best demonstrated by his prowess in the outdoors and his ability to easily hunt down his friends in a game of paintball which he so enjoyed. It's difficult to explain how Tom effected and influenced us all, but we all have something learned from interacting with him, even if for a short time. To Tom I raise my fist.

~What I enjoyed the most about Tom, was the hiking trips we took, and the conversations we had about what we wanted to do in the future and the women we were with. Almost every other day you would catch us watching a movie in his room and playing the playstation. I also enjoyed camping, even if it rained almost every time. We camped, it rained, but, rain or shine, Tom was a blast. I wish that we could have seen the ocean and the parts of the country we planned to see. He was a good person and I will miss him to the day I die. I loved you like a brother, your family is the only family I have that is close to me. I will miss you, and I can't wait to the day I see you again at those Golden Gates in Heaven.

~Tom has so much respect for people. He's had his negative times, but his positive times were so often that it was easy to forget that you've had a conflict with him just five minutes ago. He always stuck up for what he believed in and stood his ground. He had some slight stubbornness, but nothing too terrible from what I know. I will always remember him, and keep a special place
in my heart. He was very special.

~He was one of the most kind and respectable men I know. He made everyone around him happy whenever they wanted to cry. He had a stern side, but he was a very good friend.
He will be greatly missed. I love him very much. Bye Tom.

~Tom was a very special person. He radiated a light seldom seen in anyone. He was such a free spirit, and very athletic. He had an insatiable love for the outdoors and anything related. He was also a great listener. He was more than willing to sit and talk to me whenever I was having problems. And I always left with a smile on my face. He was a very cheerful person, and it always managed to spread like wildfire whenever he was around. His caring and compassionate nature will always be remembered.

~Tom, you will always be remembered as someone who has touched my life, more than you know. You were loved by all, and don't forget that. It meant a lot to me that you were there during my hard times.

~I mostly remember you through friends, but you made that extra attempt to reach out and become a close personal friend, and I will always remember the good times we had. Like the road trip to Missoula with Erik and I. I will miss you tremendously and I know that you
and all your friends will be reunited one day.

~Rest in peace my friend.


Thomas Bryan Hostetler, son of Joyce and Bryan Hostetler, brother of Brandy, Cassandra
and Elizabeth Hostetler, Helena, MT USA



To visit Thomas' very special main page, please click on the fish bobber below ~


To email Thomas' mom, please click on the deer button below ~




A friend can hear a tear drop.






Please visit Maria's Tribute to Christopher
Angel Christopher
Two Very Special Angels


This webpage is created
In Loving Memory of Thomas Bryan Hostetler
on December 20, 2003
Last updated: June 20, 2104
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